Well today I decided to screw the rest of the world. I am going to write. And not just throw ideas down on paper but truely write. I don't know just how i will do this yet but I will fucking do it
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
So right now I'm sitting in the living room trying to figure out what I would like to do with my life and I'm drawing a blank. I want to be with a man I love, raise a family, and have a stable life; but I also want to see the world, change lives, write, become famous, and make a difference. I have so many ideas and right now I just can't focus and I wish I could.
I really don't know what brought me to this mood. Maybe its the fact that the winter holidays are starting and I see other families drawing closer and I see my born family spreading apart even farther than we already are. So many people that I consider family are spread across the globe. Other people get to see theirs for the holidays but not this family.
I guess I am just getting stressed out about everything. I want to have a nice winter with the tree and garlands and treats, but everyone seems to just brush past it. Maybe I"m just pushing myself to much to try and make things the way I feel they should be. But I guess that is only human. I don't really know what all to tell you, if you are even reading this, but winter sucks. Here I am alone at almost four in the morning trying to figure out what i wanna do with my life because i have no clue, my boyfriend is across town and I know I won't get to see him for a while, and what seems like no one wants to spend the winter holidays together.
Maybe i shouldn't try and loose some weight. I just don't really see the point anymore. My boyfriend loves me no matter what i look like, so why should I.
I guess I am just scattered all over the place tonight. Maybe I should just think about who I am, and see where that leads me.
I am a witch who bases her philosophy on Greek mythology. Someone who loves children, and wants to make the world a better place for them. Someone who has given up hope on the society we live in now and figures we should just got back to being what we used to be. Someone who just wants to be loved and give love. Someone who has too big a heart. Someone who wants to be there for others.
Any suggestions for a person like that?
I really don't know what brought me to this mood. Maybe its the fact that the winter holidays are starting and I see other families drawing closer and I see my born family spreading apart even farther than we already are. So many people that I consider family are spread across the globe. Other people get to see theirs for the holidays but not this family.
I guess I am just getting stressed out about everything. I want to have a nice winter with the tree and garlands and treats, but everyone seems to just brush past it. Maybe I"m just pushing myself to much to try and make things the way I feel they should be. But I guess that is only human. I don't really know what all to tell you, if you are even reading this, but winter sucks. Here I am alone at almost four in the morning trying to figure out what i wanna do with my life because i have no clue, my boyfriend is across town and I know I won't get to see him for a while, and what seems like no one wants to spend the winter holidays together.
Maybe i shouldn't try and loose some weight. I just don't really see the point anymore. My boyfriend loves me no matter what i look like, so why should I.
I guess I am just scattered all over the place tonight. Maybe I should just think about who I am, and see where that leads me.
I am a witch who bases her philosophy on Greek mythology. Someone who loves children, and wants to make the world a better place for them. Someone who has given up hope on the society we live in now and figures we should just got back to being what we used to be. Someone who just wants to be loved and give love. Someone who has too big a heart. Someone who wants to be there for others.
Any suggestions for a person like that?
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